highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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