Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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