you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
