no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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