OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
