ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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