You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
