Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
