bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
