Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
