i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
