What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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