Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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