Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
