I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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