did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
