I look better un-naked...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
