I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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