His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
