You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
