we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
