So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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