Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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