i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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