You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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