at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize