just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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