YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
