just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
