69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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