playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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