He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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