I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
