Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
