So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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