she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
