just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
