just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
love makes seman taste better
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
