In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
