I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
