Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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