I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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