Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
