And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
