Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize