I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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