U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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