WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
