remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
