I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
