So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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