Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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