There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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