hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
