My hand turned me down
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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