Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
