No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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