You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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