I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
