Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
