I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
