Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
