My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
