All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
