she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize