His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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