This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think people are normalizing furries
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
