At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
