You're so nebulous sometimes
this just has baby written all over it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
