Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
