Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
