question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize